The type of work I do requires me to be alert, or at least awake… and to get to sleep, I need lots of food. Unfortunately, I just checked my cupboards and I have no food. I am also very, VERY hungry right now.
I hear you asking yourself. “Why don’t you just replenish your cupboards by going to the shops come the following day.”
Well, it’s not really as simple as that. I have a HUGE appetite but also kinda like to try to eat healthily, and when I don’t it has a negative impact on my ability to work or think and I don’t function very well. I also find it hard to get to sleep when I’m hungry.
“So what?” I hear you asking.
Well, I am so hungry just now I could eat pepperoni, and we ALL know what pepperoni is made of, don’t we??? Also, my hunger has made me stay up (hence the non-sleeping part of this post) and write a blog about not having any food on WordPress.
The two main reasons for running out of food are 1) Tina Turner and 2) Train operating company First Scotrail. Let me explain… I wasn’t in the best of moods last night and had to get the 21:58 train from Kilmarnock to Glasgow. To my complete surprise and disappointment, the train stopped at Crossmyloof, where a confused looking bunch of people were asked to wait in the pissing rain for 20 minutes as an employee of First Scotrail with an overinflated sense of self-importance tried to exercise a form of crowd control, but wound up clumsily injuring a girl with his umbrella to the mockery of the now slightly irate crowd.
By this time I was so hungry, I could have eaten a cow, fur, and everything… and remember, you’d have to be PRETTY hungry to eat an un-furred cow, never mind a furred cow.
So eventually we started piling on the bus… I was first on. The bus driver was a greasy man, with tinted glasses, probably in his mid-40s. The first thing he said to me was ‘I’m fae fife, ken whaur Glasgow central is?’ to which I replied ‘No, no I don’t’. After about 15 minutes the bus pulled off and I found myself dozing when all of a sudden I was woken by a noise worse than the noise of a portable electric fan trimming skin from your aunt’s feet. He had ACTUALLY put on Tina Turner – Greatest Hits (2CD)… at volume 70% – ‘Private Dancer’ was the first track. The locals just sighed, the tourists (coming from Prestwick airport) just looked confused. After about 30 minutes three people were directing the driver to central station, narrowly avoiding a serious accident on the Kingston Bridge.
So anyway… where I’m actually going with this is…
I didn’t want to get on another train out to Exhibition centre (even though it’s only a 10-minute ride)… and I was going to go shopping last night but after my train/bus experiences, I decided my money would be better spent on a taxi back to my apartment because I knew 1) I wouldn’t have to listen to Private Dancer or any other Tina Turner track. and 2) It was so late that even the 24 hour Tesco had closed.
So there you have it. I think I may have got slightly carried away just there…